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At Any Moment, Pennsylvanians Will Stop Speaking English
Metcalfe again. Sigh.

[Image: IMG_1564.jpg]

No I am never going to not ever use that PrettyMe version of Metcalfe. Until that clown is gone I will forever use that fabulous drag photo of him.


p.s. even to this day, the State of Texas does not have an official declared language.

Puerto Rico on the other hand has declared English and Spanish to be official languages, but the language used most in Puerto Rico is Puerto Rican Spanish.

I have a Chinese co-worker who, because of weird visa rules, cannot leave the United States and get back in easily--not until his RA status is finished--decided to take his girlfriend somewhere "exotic" and Puerto Rico was the default choice to get to the Caribbean. Rented a car in San Juan, got into an accident.

Two weeks later he's trying to straighten out the insurance claim and he needed to get a police report from San Juan PD. While I'm working, he turns over to me and asks "I've heard you speak Spanish before at work, can you talk to these people?"

Me: I don't speak Puerto Rican, they use a lot of words that don't make sense to me but I can try.

It took about 8 minutes or so, but I talked to a lieutenant on the phone to get a copy of the accident report faxed to my office so my co-worker could send it over to the claims adjuster. SJPD has English speakers on the force but most of them hang around the tourist jawn where the gringos are--the main office is fairly Spanish-only when you call them up.

And you know what? it's America. The First Amendment has freedom of speech, and that includes what language we choose to speak in. English is a foreign language---it's an imported bastardized trainwreck of a language built from an obscure part of Northwestern Germany.

Spanish is a simplified language that is one of the most easiest languages in the world to learn because the rules of the language are solid and it's nearly completely free of homophones. English certainly has lots of advantages--it is the only language in the world that adapts to change the quickest, which is why it is far more popular and why our language has so many imported loanwords.

English Only freakazoids have some inane belief that if we lose English that we lose America---everything that America consists of. In Colonial times there was way more German being spoken and a polyglot of European languages lept over here with waves of immigration. Spanish speakers who move to the United States and raise kids all have kids who are dominated with English. Some regions of the United States, like El Paso and Puerto Rico... Spanish is a daily-life thing and for a lot of older people, their use of English wanes.

English is never going to go away--it's the most useful language in the world. The most popular place English is spoken is in India---they have over 100 languages in India and nobody could do much of anything or conduct business in the country learning all of them, so when the British left they kept the language because it makes sense. Which is why Indian outsourcing has been so popular the last 15 years and it's also why when you call your credit card company you're likely to be talking to some dude in Hyderabad or Bangalore.

But when you're trying to collect on back water bills and someone's bisabuela picks up the phone, you need your debtors to pay up--you'll work with whatever language these people speak. It's just a fact of life and you can't get around it.

We want foreign companies to open up shop here and create jobs, and in companies like the one I work in---I spend a lot of time outside the U.S. I am always mindful that beyond Spanish I am grateful that the language of international commerce is almost always in English, and if I emigrated to another country I know my economic success will be quite limited if I can't communicate with people in the language they prefer to use.

That's not lost on any immigrant who comes into the United States. Nobody is gonna be chairman of the board or CEO only knowing Swedish. Nobody's gonna elect a Senator to Congress who can't speak English. You're not going to have a very successful pizza shop if you answer the phone and can't take orders in English. Fucking duh.

Seriously people this never-ending quest for a single monoculture is just stupid. Look at Japan... it's one race, a single language and Japanese society is xenophobic as shit and those people are miserable all the time, that's why they like to travel a lot so they can get out of the monotony.

We are an awesome country which is why the world would rather come to us. That's why we have so many fat fucks in this nation who don't even have a passport. If I want Vietnamese food I don't need to get on a plane and go to Danang. Thang Long is just down the road and the old lady who cooks the Pho teaches me a little bit of Northern Vietnamese every time I go in to get dinner.

Spanish is not going to be the official language of PA ever and English will never die out just like in Texas with tens of millions of people speaking Spanish every day down there, they still vote Republican and own guns and eat burritos. Seriously who gives a fuck.

Oh that's right it's Metcalfe. Fuck him a million times.
1. Amen to all that.
2. Props for understanding Spanish has different dialects. I can barely understand Mexicans and central Americans.
3. That pic of Metcalfe wins. He's gonna be caught gloryholing in the men's bathroom of a Martz station, I just know it.
Unbanned since September 2012.

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